Thursday, January 22nd, 2009...5:06 pm

“Tears, Tears Falling Down My Window Panes”

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  By: Shawna Kay Williams   

 With more than 700 persons gruesomely murdered in Clarendon since the start of the year, a grim cloud has been cast over the lives of many surviving relatives.

      The merciless bloodletting has wounded many young hearts and despite a great effort to overcome their grief and pain, the memories of those fateful days keep recurring in fitful attacks.

      When 17 year old Denoy Francis, a lower sixth form student at Clarendon College said “later” to his father, little did he expect that would have been their last word exchanged.

      His father, Joslyn Francis, a police officer attached to the Chapelton Police Station in Clarendon, was shot and killed in May of last year in the neighbouring Cocoa Piece community, promptly after returning home from work at 11.00PM that night.

      Denoy explained that prior to his father’s death, they were home sharing a normal afternoon with his mother out grocery shopping. He remembered being warned by his father to complete all his assigned chores before his mother returned.

      “He told me to do the usual chores and then left for his 1′o clock shift in the afternoon,” Denoy said, still visibly shaken by the death of his father. 

      “I was home the following night just a build back, talking to a girl on the phone and thing, not even realizing that daddy hadn’t returned home, but when me brother called and somebody from foreign called mommy and asked what happened to daddy I realized that something was wrong,” he said.

      It was after this that he found out that his father was brutally murdered by unknown assailants as he walked home. He was shot twice in his head and once in his upper left arm.

      Denoy said that he was too overwhelmed by disbelief to cry, even as he looked on his father’s blood-stained and mutilated body lying lifeless to the ground.

      “Mi couldn’t cry. Mi did in a denial. A the next morning when everybody start bawl and thing that me eventually break down and then leave the house,” he said.

      He explained that his father could have been slain because the criminals wanted his gun or simply wanted to kill him for no apparent reason.

      While he defended his father’s honour, adding that he was nothing like the corrupt police officers today, he highlighted his discipline and hard work to maintain his family and to provide him with the educational opportunities that he never had.

      His mother’s reluctance to have him joins the police force and the untimely passing of his father has tainted his view of many people who are supposed to be upstanding citizens.

      He harshly reproached the corruption of many police officers for the proliferating crime rate. He lamented that though his father was “innocent,” working to build his own home, he became a stark victim of society’s heartless and atrocious doings.

      “He was a good man. Mi love daddy to mi heart,” he said, furthering explaining that his father was supposed to sojourn abroad last May for his leave.

      Each year as November 27, his father’s birthday approaches, the sad memories of how he died and the blissful past they shared dawn on him greatly.

      On his first birthday, following his death, Denoy recounted breaking down in despair and compelling himself to a state of denial to ease the pain. Even after constant relocations from their home in Cocoa Piece to Bushy Park May Pen, the memories still haunt him.

      The images of that dreary and sorrowful night, he said, seem to have gotten fiercer and more vivid each time he is sunken in a depressive mood.

      Having refused to seek counseling, Denoy said that he has fought to keep his mental framework strong to avoid the evil temptations that set in sporadically.

      “It nuh easy but mi know seh gun and drugs just ago complicate things even more,” he said, adding that anger wells inside his heart often times urging him to avenge his father’s killing. 

      It is the sloppiness of Jamaica’s judicial system that has made him even more irritated as he mulled over their ineptitude in apprehending and convicting the criminals. It is largely for this reason why he strongly supports the death penalty, wanting the criminals to feel the same pain that they have inflicted upon many innocent lives.

       While he is mostly schooled by the insurance grant provided by the government upon his father’s death, his mother who is chronically unemployed still experiences severe financial constraints.

      “Mi always tell her not to stress over money because that no going to help,” he said, further stating that he has had to provide a shoulder for mommy to lean on when things get really rough.

      He has two older brothers, one of whom is a police officer and the other a mere “ras on the corner,” he said. His two older sisters are living at home with him but neither of them has made any attempt to procure employment and assist with his schooling.

      “Only mi mother alone mi have. A she one since daddy dead,” he continued, declaring a deep sense of hopelessness that he constantly tries to rid himself of. 

      “Mi just expects anything bad to happen more time,” he broached, as waves of desolation twisted his face in a tight grimace.  

       With the topsy-turvy terrain that his life has taken on, it has been quite difficult to find a comfortable niche. He explained his deep distrust in human beings, which has led him to seek God during his darkest hours.

      He however, is still maintaining the faith and it is evident from his 8 distinctions in his Caribbean Secondary Examination Council (CSEC) examinations (English Language, English Literature, Physics, Biology, Information Technology, Technical Drawing and a credit for Chemistry), that his ambition of pursuing electrical engineering will be achieved and his mother’s dream house will eventually be supplied.

      At the school’s recent Prize Giving Ceremony he also received the James Gary Grant Award for excellence in technological science, along with the John Macmillan Award for the best CSEC results.

      His wish for Christmas would be to have his father back to make everything “nice,” but that cannot be granted he said so there is no point in keep on wishing.

      “Only daddy would make things nice but that not possible so…” he trailed off in a plaintive murmur.

      While many other youth like Denoy have succumbed to the ills of society he hasn’t and has pioneered amidst the odds to achieve tremendous excellence. His father may be dead but his dreams for betterment for he and his family are still alive and it is through education that the “trailer load a money,” that he chanted during our meeting, will be made possible.

      He encourages other youth, in similar position to be strong and follow the good that is in their mind.                             

 

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